Belleisle’s soon-to-be favourite son, Levi Rowan introduces himself with style and substance on his first proper full-length album, Self Loathing Narcissist. Levi explains that the title is more contradictory or ironic than any manner of glorification of what he acknowledges is a psychotic trait in narcissism.
“I’m more blowing it up. Self-loathing, narcissism, they live in the same world and I think, for artists especially, you have to have an understanding that you are assuming that you are going to do big things and that what you have to say should be heard and that you deserve a platform to a degree. At the same time, a lot of artists are the same people that think very low of themselves,” says Levi.
This sentiment is entirely believable of musicians and the artistic community in general. The conflicting duality of putting yourself in the spotlight yet feeling just as many (if not more) of the insecurities and uncertainties of the average person is enough to render many paralyzed by anxiety. Levi’s album finds a perfect balance of providing a poppy punch to its more profound portions.
As a debut album, Self Loathing Narcissist serves as a fantastic introduction to ‘Levi Rowan, the person beyond the presence.’ Album opener, “Patient” begins with a nice reflective verse about Levi himself (“50/50 cocky and half self-loathing”) before transitioning to its primary purpose of a budding relationship (more on that later) while “Let It Go” serves as a showcase as an upbeat and joyful ode to being yourself that was accompanied by an equally original video. It’s a tale of an outcast and non-conformist who rather than being bitter about his not fitting into society has accepted, and even embraced, who he is and is moving forward, free of those pesky restraints others impose upon you.
As mentioned above, “Patient” leads with an intro of this story’s protagonist before moving onto another recurring theme on the album in romantic entanglements and all the fun and frustrations that they formulate. Through the album, Levi manages to hit a surprising span of the seasons’ relationships can bring for a 22-year-old. “Patient” seems to encapsulate the beginning when things have not been settled or locked down despite one of you (Levi in this case) being ready and eager to do so. “Marathon,” to the shock of no one, is in this for the long haul yet works in some modern aspects to dating in referencing that he knows his partner has options as well as how difficult it is when getting ghosted.
The heart of the album lies within two back-to-back tracks that deal with loss. “Let Me Sleep” serves as a clear tonal shift in an already enjoyable album, moving from the more hip hop-flavoured pop stylings of the early songs into a more understated and sincere guitar-driven dedication to Levi’s deceased grandfather.
“It’s dealing with that feeling that you’re not going to see somebody anymore. I’d never really talked about that in a track, especially at such a young age when it shifts your perspective of the world,” explains Levi.
It’s a sweet and extremely heartfelt song that all stems from a dream encounter with his lost loved one that while being an entirely personal story, manages to be supremely relatable. This song is followed by “Time Again” which is about a different form of loss.
“Time Again is about letting go of somebody because the timing is not right and things are not working, even though you still have love for that person.”
The collection concludes with what I hope and believe is the best reflection of Levi as an artist and person in “On the Road.” This song perfectly encapsulates the Self Loathing Narcissist title in its shifting self-assurance and doubts. It is entirely believable as a young musician’s tour diary. From entitlement (“burdened with the curse of wanting more than what I’m worth”), uncertainty (“I’m funnier in my head”), regret (“I’ve caused plenty hurt”), conflict (“content, contempt”) and feelings of fraud (“…I can fake a pretty face until the night the glitter falls in bitter shade”), Levi by no means paints a pretty picture