“Is this a breakup song?” I ask Natalie Lynn of Loviet. Every time. It’s a pattern that we’ve fallen into over a series of releases and subsequent interviews.
Invariably, they are not. She and her partner, Ryan, have endured the pressure cooker of 2020 and more, and they have come out the other side all the stronger for it. Given Loviet’s continuous development as an artist and her perennial subject matter of critical growth, the question hasn’t been entirely unprompted.
She has simply been breaking up with herself this whole time.
Her latest single, “Dullshine,” carries all the hallmarks of a breakup song: the accusatory tone, the recognition of being held back, the light at the end of the tunnel, the sense of moving on from something. All of it spells out that pivoting moment of self-awareness between the tail end of a relationship and stepping back into one’s own vibe.
Loviet seems to confirm this directly in the chorus, “I was under your cloud, thickest smoke with no fire, just hanging around, everyone had a dull shine. It’s not a dumped lover she’s singing about, however, but herself. It’s about recognizing that you owe yourself something better but the person you were 5 or 10 years ago isn’t the person you are now.
“This song is HEAVY for me talking about it. I don’t normally record this type of song that I’ve written because it feels a bit too personal or maybe boring because it’s so outright me thinking about myself,” laughs Natalie. “Which I do a lot, but only because I’m always so hung up, in this battle of positive or negative thoughts. I’m sure I’m not unique or alone, but I’m constantly my own worst critic.
“I was kind of that person, I guess. It was my own cloud. Very third person. Dumb artist narcissism. This whole EP talks about that, in different songs a bit: how I make my life a living hell sometimes. But I think the year and the depression were bigger.”
2020, being the year that it was, afforded many the opportunity for some self-reflection and a certain number of allowances for unorthodox approaches to managing personal and mental wellbeing. It was a time to embrace baking and gardening and whatever changes come with a certain amount of cabin fever and introspection. Ideally, as Loviet points out, with that overabundance of quality time spent with our inner demons comes a side of self-forgiveness.
“This year – the state of the world, being forced to be alone and deal with it – I just got so tired of it,” says Natalie. “The nonstop concern over the things I always think are my biggest flaws or mistakes I’ve made, etc. I was at a point of metaphorically beating myself to a pulp – in my head… I think this song kind of mirrors what I felt like being a happy person that wasn’t sad but wasn’t quite the same happy. A general 2020 vibe. So, I wrote this song.
“This year was a lot! And I just want to sing and dance and not take anything for granted. And I hope everyone can kind of join in with me and stop (or try to stop) giving a fuck about something I said to somebody when I was 19 and drunk at that bar, or how I treated some customer when they yelled at me, or maybe the haircut I had when I was 15.
“I had a lot of balls growing up and I really let myself kind of fumble around and then as I got older everything came back to bite me. I grew into realizing how dumb I must have looked. Now, I just know I’ll probably do something dumb and I’ll realize it later. And I’m just like cool. I’ll prepare for that.”
Released the day before her birthday, Natalie says that the says the timing couldn’t be better and that the song has proven to be a mantra for her.
“As crazy as it is, I actually do feel better. This song was a great way for me to heal a bit. And now it’s almost my mantra to like, recognize it and stop ignoring it. I’m like buds with demons now, ya know? We have an understanding. It’s giving me that strength of dance around be true to yourself and always aim for better. It’s like a ‘you’re okay’ song. It’s like just hoping that everyone can feel back on their feet again and be hopeful and treat themselves with care.”
Loviet plans to head back into the studio in February with Toronto-based producer Anton DeLost, pending the universe righting itself, to record a new album.
“I did a lot of co-writing this summer, I hope I never see another zoom screen again,” says Natalie. “But there’s also a lot of tracks I wrote solo, which is kind of cool and scary too. Like this track. Spooky vibes. But very excited for this.”